Want Passion?
A while back, I worked with a client looking to revive his marriage of 30 plus years. The kids had finally left home and life had taken on a dull cycle of routine. He laughingly remarked “The wife and I always anticipated the day the kids would leave home so we would be free to have sex in any room at anytime.” And then more seriously “But we don’t have sex anymore. It’s been ages.”
He missed making love to his wife and the intimacy they once shared.
Having successfully raised four children, each with their own lives, they seem to have lost theirs in the process. Routine and responsibility had overrun their lives and relationship.
So, we began to strategise what he might do to reignite the passion in his relationship. His love for his wife was evident, but he was unsure as to how to approach her. Not being a very talkative man, especially when it came to feelings, we had to brainstorm some possible approaches. We compiled a long list of ideas, and he left my office two hours later with a plan.
I received a text message a few days later, saying number 6 and 13 from our list worked a treat! Being curious, I looked at my notes to see what we had written for number 6 and 13.
He had left for work, as he usually did each morning. He drove out of the driveway and secretly parked the car just out of sight of the house. He walked back to the house. His wife was busy clearing away the breakfast dishes when he entered the kitchen and said “You know, I adore you.” He then lovely took the dishes from her hands, keeping eye contact, he pressed her against the wall and kissed her passionately (His words “Like I did on our honeymoon”). And as she was catching her breathe, he left and went to work.
He also left a note in the shower for her, which she found later that morning, reading “Your are still the most beautiful girl I have ever set my eyes on.” Which was close to one of the first things he said to her when he met all those years ago.
Upon his return from work he was treated to…well I think you can guess.
The moral of the story? Renewal. And renewal happens OUTSIDE of routine.
ROUTINE KILLS PASSION!!!
Life does get in the way of our desires, our love. Routine is something that should never apply to love making and love making is not limited to two naked bodies beneath sheets. It’s a continuous process that takes words, actions, sentiments, gazes, playfulness and attention.
He broke the old patterns of routine, and reminded them both of the passion they once shared. Passion has no routine. For a few moments she was swept of her feet (what a fantastic feeling!) and he got to take control, confidently to express his desire, all in a kiss. Then he left and that built anticipation.
Anticipation is the best aphrodisiac. It creates longing, excitement and hunger. It wakes us up from the day-to-day humdrum and renews us in ways nothing else does.
So, how might you renew your love and create wild, fabulous passion?