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Monday
Sep042017

I SEE RED!

The other night I spilt red wine all over the table cloth and carpet. There are a few choice swear words to begin with I can assure you! But then I let it ruin my meal, in fact, I was stewing over it right though dinner and the rest of the evening.

It’s not the wine’s fault the stain exists and no one pushed me. I simply spilt some wine, so what?! Yes, the table cloth is stained but it’s just a piece of material is it not? It happens. 

 

Anger is a horrible feeling where we experience a loss of control over our thoughts and our reactions.


We can react quite irrationally. It just seems to rise up from no where. It explodes out of us and before you know it, we have these intense emotions that we express outwardly onto those in the close proximity.

 

Have you ever said something in anger and regretted it later?


The connection between what angers us and our way of expressing our anger can be a tangle of ideas, history, experiences, learned reactions, just a huge knot of who-knows-what. We simply lose control. 

 

Anger is a perfectly normal part of being human.


It’s when it over consumes us and we have the potential to be aggressive that it is not so nice. Anger is emotional pain and frustration. Maybe it’s the pain of looking a fool in front of a loved one, or the the frustration that our boss took credit for our work, or we weren’t shown the respect we expected from another.

 

Our emotions can travel from mild irritation to explosion!


It’s important to catch the words you associate with that emotion. Rage is quite a different response to annoyance. We don’t tend to stop ourselves and gauge what would be a suitable reaction. What word would best suit the circumstances? Annoyance, irritations, frustration, lost, impatience, displeasure, anger, rage?They all have a different response. What if we checked in with the angry feeling and label it accordingly, we could choose! Wouldn’t that change how we respond?!

Yes, I spilt some wine: a waste of wine; a mess to clear and delayed dinner; and a stained table cloth. But my family and friends were around me, I had delicious food on my table, I had love in my home. I double downed on myself. I got angry because I was angry. Ridiculous!

Had I stopped to check what was going on for me I would have realised that I didn’t take away from that moment by spilling wine. I took away from it by staying in anger when easily I could have just covered the table cloth with an old tea towel and relaxed into my evening.

 

 

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