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Thursday
Jan052017

Relationship Training

I don’t know anyone who would say relationships are easy. They can be complicated, sheer agony, messy, passionate and still be such a huge source of delight. How conflicting!

I have a few relationships and they all take some planning and management.

I have that special relationship with the man in my life, then there’s the fun relationships with my children, my close friends, my parents, my clients, etc. You get the picture, there is a whole load of different kinds of relating going on.

I never enrolled at “relationship school”, I learned “on the job” as it were. I began with very little skill and hoped for the best - I mean, how hard can it be?  

Are we not conditioned to believe that when we find that perfect someone or that wonderful friend it becomes easy and a lot less hard work? Or that family are our blood and they can’t be that hard to suss out! Oh, how nice that would be. Alas, we are drawn to the stubborn truth - it’s not that straight forward.

There is one aspect to my relationships I have discovered that allows me to relax and enjoy the company I keep. It’s really simple too. It’s flexibility. No, not being a push over, but simply being adaptable. Quite a lesson for some who can be rather strong-willed at the best of times.

Now I admit that, when I’m a little stressed out, I can be determined to dig my heels in over an idea because changing it feels a tad to difficult. And to ‘cave in’?! NEVER! This inflexibility can lead to squabbles in my relationships and to even more stress. 

Relationships affect our well being.

We know how horrid we feel when they are in dispute. And we know how lifted and at peace we are when they are going well.

I’ve found that being more flexible and open, to plan changes or ideas, brings solace to a relationship, it eases all the expectations and keeps harmony. In the grand scheme of things, how vital is it for me to always get my own way? Being right at all costs...is costly to relationships. 

If I remained willful then I’ve “won” at the expense of my loved one. If you love someone so much, do you really want them to lose? It becomes a win-lose situation and it’s not very healthy for any relationship. If two people can not grow together, they drift apart.

Wouldn’t a win-win be more profitable for on all levels? If we both work towards giving the other more and being more for them, would we not both benefit?

Flexibility is about being more open and easing out of those old rigid ideas; voicing concerns and listening in return. If we hold tight onto what we believe to be right we prevent any prosperity from taking place. We are sabotaging our relationships in order to feel “right”.

When we both contribute towards the other the relationship grows and thrives, flourishes and becomes more passionate. I like the sound of that, don’t you?

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