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The Hot Sexy 5!

I work with a lot of clients who get fixated on being the wrong shape or size to consider a relationship; or in the wrong occupation or not have enough money. All these crazy reasons to keep themselves from a loving relationship because they don’t have whatever the latest magazine suggests they needs for a worthy union!

Real sexiness is so much more than being a certain size or shape, more than what you wear or the car you drive. More than your bank balance or job title.

So what is really sexy?  What are we looking for? 

After many years of helping people develop relationship skills I find the five things that tend to appeal to most people are:

CONFIDENCE - We pick up on confidence at an unconscious level.

The aura of confidence draws us in making us feel more assured, comfortable and at ease with that person. We pick up on their high level of self respect and honor. Something to consider: if you are not going to have confidence in yourself, why would anyone else? 

GSOH - Good sense of humor is very sexy!

We relax when we laugh, establish rapport and feel lifted (all nice feelings when in the company of another). Yet a GSOH is different for men and women. Women love men that make them laugh. As the saying goes “looks fade, but a sense of humor, lasts forever”. Men love women who laugh at their jokes. Yet you see many girls acting sultry and  moody. Crack a smile! You leave yourself very unapproachable when stone-faced or scowling. A smile and laughter relaxes the face and body and instantly makes you look more alluring.

A FLIRTATIOUS NATURE. Having a good flirt is hot fun!

Too many people are scared to flirt for fear of seeming cheap and too easy. Gentle flirting creates connection, desirable tension and a little thrill. Excitement, stimulation, curiosity all arouse interest and establishing a playful banter - that’s uplifting with a huge ‘feel good’ factor. Sexually flirting with a partner keeps the passion and desire alive in a relationship. Besides, are we not more than just friends? 

GOOD CHARACTER. Being a person of upstanding character says quality.

Having the courage to know what you believe and value is tremendously sexy. When seeking long term partners we often look for caring and attentive behaviour as well as strength to uphold what’s important. 

FEELING GOOD FACTOR. We fall deeply in love with the feeling we have with a person long before before we fall in love with that person.

When we are with our partners what we all seek to experience is intimacy, comfort, fun, sexual fulfillment, closeness, understanding, connection, care beyond the bedroom, physical and emotional closeness. These feelings apply to both men and women. Being able to gift these to our partner is powerfully sexy. 

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